OT?: Emailing from within filepro

[Brian K. White]

Fairlight wrote:
> On Wed, May 26, 2004 at 10:12:25AM -0500, Tom Aldridge may or may not
> have proven themselves an utter git by pronouncing:
>> I suppose Mr. "M->", "Mark", "Fairlight" will pound me for asking
>> such a stupid question, but I am looking for some help and I do use
>> filePro (alot) but am not an expert in all things Linux, sendmail,
>> etc. I do own and operate a string of restaurants pretty well that
>> depend on filePro extensively so I feel I am worthy of posting a
>> question, even if it is stupid.
>
> Well after that kind of buildup, I hate to let you down.  But I think
> I'll pass.  What I think of you isn't based on anything -technical-,
> Tom.  It's a matter for a private discussion that will -never- take
> place because you're not worth the amount of stress it would cause me
> to have the discussion.  :)
>
> But since you want help in addition to gratuitously poking at me,
> let's cut through your grandstanding political agenda bullshit and
> just look at what you have on the technical side, shall we?  I'm not
> getting any younger.

Mark, you're doing it gain.
Maybe this will help:

The next time you think it might be a valid case for calling someone stupid,
or saying something patently uncivil like "you are not worth my
time|energy|stress...", apply this guidline to determine if it really is
appropriate or not.

"It's not."

That's it. Simple rule. Real easy to know if you are crossing the line or
not.
It's just plain never called for here. Not for the worst top-posting html
with graphics email poster, not for the least observant questioner asking
something that was answered 3 times in the last hour. Not ever. The day an
actual a%$hole manages to get subscribed here and not removed by Bill within
a day will probably never come, but if it ever does, that would be the first
possible exception to this guidline and it isn't the case now nor any time
in the 5 years I can comment on.

I can very easily understand and sympathise and to some extent relate how
the urge can arise, but at least within this small group it is not ever even
once necessary to be anything less than completely civil and even in your
post quoted above you are becoming unncessarily uncivil.

I am guilty myself of failing to adhere to this a few years ago but it was a
rare occurance and directed at you in response to some pretty decent
provocation. But that very experience is what most clearly tought me that a
little provocation is no excuse and I wouldn't do the same thing today.

Tom's and anyone elses recent "stupid" digs are just completely fair. Notice
they are not calling you stupid or even calling you mean for calling them
stupid, they are simply repeating what you yourself said and facetiously
agreeing with you in ways that should cause you to realize what you said was
perhaps a little out of line. Them saying "I'm stupid according to Mark." is
a completely different animal than you saying "People who do X are stupid."
One is an attack and unjustified and the other is a polite form of rebuttal
without attacking back.

But forget the whole stupid thing which would have blown over anyways and
could easily just be forgotten and forgiven with a simple acknowledgement
and apology from you along the lines of "Ok ok I guess that was a pretty
sweeping statement..." instead of trying to defend it.

What prompted this post was not so much that but the going on to tell
someone they're not worth your time.

That may be true and you are allowed to make that iternal mental
prioritization. We all do all day every day.
But it's not necessary to go out of your way to actively tell someone that
they are not worth any of your energy. Expending the energy to tell them
that, in place of something constructive, is just plain rude and no excuse
for it.

I know you went on to actually try to help with answering some of the
questions in that post and I wouldn't deny or belittle that, but the above
just kind of sucks the good will feeling out of any subsequent help.

Brian K. White  --  brian at aljex.com  --  http://www.aljex.com/bkw/
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